I was finally dilated enough for it to be time for me to push. I was at 9 1/2cm w/just barely any cervix covering anymore so they had me start. I pushed for about an hour and a half with the help of the L&D nurses (wait! Where's the MW you might ask? Who the heck knows? She wasn't in my room that's for sure). She finally came in, checked me and then found out that I had developed a fever (remember that. It comes into play in a little bit). They told me I needed to "labor down" for a while because Baby G wasn't moving down with my pushing. I was supposed to go an hour without active pushing to see if he'd move down.
It was SO hard to not push so I'd bear down just a little bit when I had the urge hoping to help him move down. MW said that'd be fine and probably help a little so I kept doing it. It felt good better than trying not to.
The MW came in and said I could try to push again. She helped a little this time but then eventually just stood there w/her finger in my vag, head tipped to one side looking incredibly bored. Nice. She told me with my fever and baby not moving down she was going to call the OB who was on call from her practice to come in and assist.
So here I am, lying flat on my back (what I didn't want) and in walks an OB (that I had never met before) with a vacuum in hand (that I didn't want) to try to suck my baby out as I pushed. He tried three times and the thing popped off of the baby's head each time. At one point I almost kicked the OB in the head because it hurt so bad when he was stuffing that thing in there to get to the baby.
OB says he can't get it and it's time to go to an emergency C-section. With the failure to progress and the fever he had them get me in there within 30 minutes. The fever also meant the people from the NICU would be in there to work with the baby after it was delivered.
Let me take a second to add one more thing about my LOVELY midwife right here. She PROMISED me that she'd be there for the birth of the baby. I was her ONLY patient in the hospital that night yet I saw her maybe 3-4 times. She PROMISED me that if it came to needing a c-section she'd be in the OR with me - she'd be the one assisting the doctor in the delivery. She had a clinic day on the 19th (the day the baby was born). The OBs covered her appointments and the rest of her appointments were moved until after 2pm. I had the baby at 11:05am. She was not in the operating room. She went home. To shower. Yeah, you read that right. She didn't even come up to see me in the hospital room in the days after he was here.
I thought that was the last straw. I was going into surgery to be cut open and have my baby ripped from me while I lay there. No bonding time. No attempt to nurse him because of the risk from my fever. I went in with flexibility in mind but here it was. Everything I had hoped for in childbirth had been taken from me.
Oh but that wasn't it. I have no idea what drugs they put me on in surgery but I don't remember ANYTHING from the c-section. I remember them moving me to the operating table, I remember MrG waking me up to tell me it was a boy and I remember him trying to show him to me. That's it. Mr G got to hold him and there was a picture taken (that I don't remember). No cute picture of the baby being held next to my head or anything like that. I didn't even get to kiss my baby.
BabyG was a boy and was born at 11:05am on November 19th, 2010. He weighed 7lb 9oz and they think he was 20in long but didn't measure him w/all of the trouble we were having. He had aspirated a lot of meconium and with my fever they were working on him to make sure he was ok.
There's more. I'm going to work on the rest when MrG gets home. If you made it this far you deserve a cookie :)
You Are Who God Says You Are
11 hours ago