Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I took an awesome nap today and still have a bunch of work to do on the house before we leave on Friday. I'm keeping up in the kitchen - now if I could just follow up with the rest of the house! We're leaving for my parents' on Friday night and will be back Tuesday morning. It'll be a short trip but a good one. I love being "home" for the 4th of July. They always have such cute stuff to do there - a parade, concert in the park afterward (with tons of junk food to buy), water hose games run by the fire department, foot races for the kids, and fireworks that night. I haven't been home for that in a long time.
I really didn't have anything good to say. I just wanted to update :)
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Yes it's blurry cause I took it up close with my cell (sorry)
That is my progesterone pill. The casing is that digestible PLASTIC stuff which means that thing sticks the WHOLE WAY DOWN. Not too fun.
I also blame it on the heartburn I got last cycle and already again this cycle. Lovely.
::drinks more water to no avail::
Then I couldn't stop sneezing and my nose is totally itchy so I just got up so I wouldn't disturb Mr. G.
My temp went up a little again this morning. I'm convincing myself that the progesterone is the cause of the insanity we saw yesterday but at the same time my chart looked NOTHING like that last cycle. Weird.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
No one ever told me it'd happen if I didn't even try out. That real life would slap me in the face with the same situation in a different race.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Seriously. Where is it? I triggered on Monday and I fully expected to see one this morning and.... nothing. Some efriends told me it can take 48 hrs (which will be today at 3-ish) so if I don't get one tomorrow I'll freak.
::sigh:: Guess we have to do it again tonight ;)
In some MUCH better news - I'm totally going swimming today. YAY!!!!!!!!! A friend of mine has a friend whose parents have a pool and they let her swim in it so I'm tagging along to enjoy the inferno heat and blazing sun in the water. :) That whole story made me sound like I am in high school. My friend's friend's parents? Nice. I don't really care at this point cause I'm going SWIMMIN'!!!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
It's awesome. So I came across a BIG bottle of it at Kroger last night - only $1.99. AWESOME! I fully intend on trying to make lemonade from scratch this summer but this was too good to pass up.
Delicious. Everyone should try it.
Monday, June 22, 2009
So the post coital test (take 2) turned out much better than the first. Dr. W said motility was good and was surprised that my cm was cooperating because it often becomes hostile when the person takes Clomid. So that was good news.
A trip back to the waiting room then back in to a different room for my ultrasound. It was my first experience with it and it really wasn't that bad. For the first few minutes she just did her thing. She was explaining what she was doing then realized that she could have offered to turn the TV on so we could watch. She measured my uterus, endometrium (that's the technical term for the lining) and follicle sizes. There were a few uncomfortable moments but all in all it wasn't bad.
Waiting room round 3. Finally got called back to talk to the doctor one last time so he could explain everything to us. He said the post coital test came back good. He said with the way that test came back he didn't recommend an IUI yet. I had one dominant follicle on the left side and several small ones - he said one had grown too much and was considered a small cyst but we went ahead with the HCG shot and were told to have sex on Wednesday!
It was a marathon of a doctor's appointment but I think it went well and I hope it ends up with us expecting! I'm trying not to get my hopes up but a great friend of mine just got great news - I'll shout that from the mountaintops as soon as I get the ok from her though. :)
I set my alarm so I could have sex and so we could both get ready and be at the doctor's office by 1pm. I need to go grocery shopping. I have needed to do this for almost a week now but have continuously put it off because it's hot and I had no other reason to go out! I'm dragging Mr. G along with me and we're going to go to the grocery store after the doctor.
Better go get busy (haha. Get it? Stuff to do? Getting busy? Sex? HA!)
Saturday, June 20, 2009
I'm not sure if Father's Day is as hard on Mr. G as Mother's Day is on me. I don't know if any of this IF stuff is as hard for him as it is for me! I guess it's because I feel like the failure - like it's MY fault we're not there yet. That every time I see beautiful babies I think about how I haven't been able to have that yet. I hope it's not too bad for him. I love him dearly and he gets upset when I apologize for the IF (I know, I know it's not really my fault).
So going to the in-law's. I'm making another batch of my blackberry peach goodness. My FIL, Mr. G's grandmother and I will probably be the only ones eating it but that's ok! I'll bring it home! :) We've found out this week that 2 couples in Mr. G's family/family-friends are getting divorced. Seriously. One of them have grown kids and the other has older kids (just out of high school and still in high school - maybe a senior?). What the crap?! Two in one week! It's so sad to me.
I'm hoping the pool is open at their house because I'd love to swim. In the perfect words of a dear friend "Someone set the weather to INFERNO here!". It's seriously blazing and humid. I'm SOOOOOOO looking forward to band camp heat! If I'm pregnant by then (HAHA) I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I was having hot flashes today at Target - I kept asking Mr. G if he was hot (because he is ALWAYS hot) and he kept looking at me like I was crazy. Thanks Clomid! :D ::eyeroll::
Monday is the double whammy at the doctor's office. Post coital test directly followed by an up close and personal encounter with the dildo cam. I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself. Maybe we can throw another test in there to make it a triple play. I was scheduled to work that night but figured all the trauma would be too much so I got someone to take my shift.
Well... I'm tired of waiting and I still love the fabric so we're making them into skirts for ME instead. So I'm going to document the progress here because I'm super excited and it gives me something to write about other than food and being infertile! :)
*Let me say that Mr. G will be making these skirts - I have NO idea how to sew (which is SO embarrassing) but I blame it on my mother because she pushed me into band and chorus so I didn't get classes like industrial arts/woodshop, home ec, computers... those fun ones. I never made the pillows like everyone else and I have no idea how to work a sewing machine. I plan on fixing this problem in the near future though! :)
(dark pink, light pink & tan)
basically the same as #1 just different colors
(blue, green & gray)
This one will be done first - Mr. G is working on it right now!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
I go in for my first date with the transvag ultrasound (more affectionately known as the dildo cam) on Monday. I have to do another post coital test too that same day so I'm in for a good time. Oh yeah, here's the dream...
I was on some rickety fishing boat out in the ocean. Al Roker was there doing a weather report and interviewing my doctor. I was laying on the exam table in stirrups. That's all I can remember now but I just know it was even more weird than that.
2.) You have pee sticks in your bathroom that have expired
I think most people POAS more than I do but it's really sad seeing an expiration date on a pee stick. I mean I've got expired OPKs before but I accidentally BOUGHT them expired - these have expired because I've had them so long.
3.) You've fallen in love with a bedding set and have come to find out that it's been discontinued (and you're STILL not pregnant).
Here it is - DwellStudio™ for Target® Bedding Collection - Circles
I love it. It's extremely gender neutral. It's cute. It's simple. There's not a theme to it (this is vital). It's not pastel colors (but it's also not too dark or too loud).
What more could a girl ask for? - maybe for it NOT to be discontinued, there's always that! :(
Good news. A friend of mine says she has a set stored away and was going to put it on ebay and she'd be willing to sell it to me. I wouldn't even hesitate. That'd be my second phantom baby purchase and I wouldn't even feel bad about it :)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
- 1 cup rolled oats
- 1 cup light brown sugar, firmly packed
- 3/4 cup flour, divided
- 1/2 cup butter or margarine
- 4 cups fresh blackberries, washed and drained
- 2 cups peeled and sliced fresh peaches
Combine the oats, brown sugar and 1/2 cup of the flour in a mixing bowl. Cut in the butter or margarine with a fork or pastry blender to form large, coarse, moist crumbs; set aside. Spray an 8” X 8” square baking dish with non-stick cooking spray. Place the blackberries in the bottom of the prepared baking dish. Sprinkle the remaining 1/4 cup flour over the top. Add the sliced peaches. Sprinkle the crumb mixture evenly over the top and bake in a preheated oven at 350° for about 35 to 40 minutes or until the fruit mixture is bubbly and the topping is golden brown. Serve warm, topped with whipped cream or vanilla ice cream.
Monday, June 15, 2009
A 17th Century Nun's Prayer:
Lord thou knowest better than I know myself that I am growing older and will someday be old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion.
Release me from craving to straighten out everybody's affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom it seems a pity not to use it all, but thou knowest Lord that I want a few friends at the end
Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details, give me wings to get to the point. Seal my lips on my aches and pains. They are increasing and the lover of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by. I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of others' pains, but help me to endure them with patience.
I dare not ask for improved memory, but for a growing humility and a lessening cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken.
Keep me reasonably sweet; I do not want to be a saint - some of them are so hard to live with - but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil. Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places, and talents in unexpected people. And, give me O Lord, the grace to tell them so.
I started my Clomid (cycle #2) yesterday. My doctor bumped me up to 150mg. On CD13 I'll go in for an ultrasound and post coital test (that's a week from today). Honestly I'm ready to be done with all of this. I'm tired of the waiting. I'm tired of tests. I'm tired of spending money on Rx refills. I'm tired of hearing of all the new pregnancies around me and watching ungrateful mothers who have no idea what they're blessed with.
Ok pity party over. I'm seriously just tired in general. I love my summer break (short as it may be) so it's hard to go to work at job #2 and put up with the rude people when I would rather be home. One of the assistant managers is a tool. I think she's all of 20 years old and is one of the laziest girls I've ever worked with. I have no idea why she has the position she does. She has a GREAT method of making herself look busy when the store manager is around but in reality she's just standing around, flipping her hair and flirting with guys who stop by just to see her. I get to close the store with her tomorrow too. ::throws confetti::
Today I WILL be cleaning my house. Mr. G did an amazing thing yesterday. While I was at work he cleaned, did laundry, and made dinner!! What a sweetheart!! His version of "cleaning" is getting the clutter - which is perfectly fine. I'm going to go behind him and finish what he didn't get to and do the REAL cleaning today. I also need to attack my closet later this week and get rid of TONS of stuff. We just have too much crap. Plain and simple. :)
Thursday, June 11, 2009
In exchange for that trip we're going to go see my family a few weeks later for the 4th of July. My aunt will be in Chicagoland (she lives in CA) and I haven't seen her in years. She's never even met Corey and, as sad as it is to say, I'm afraid this could be my last time seeing her. She SAYS she's getting better but I'm almost convinced that she tells my grandma that to make her worry less.
So. This just feels like a big mess. I wish we could do both but Corey doesn't have that much vacation and IF is expensive so we're trying to really watch what we're spending right now.
That being said I just made my first phantom baby "purchase". In my defense I can give them away as shower gifts but they were free (I just had to pay shipping)
No I need to get moving and do some stuff around here before Mr.G gets home. I also have to run to the dry cleaners to take his shirts in (which is lame for me to just go out for that but whatever) Maybe he'll let me wash & iron them instead and save a little money that way... :)
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
First he said he looked at everything in my charts/tests and went through and told us what he saw to see if he'd answer any questions on the way. He says I do NOT have PCOS. He thinks I have LPD dealing w/my progesterone levels during the LP (not necessarily the length of the LP). He also mentioned that the endometrial biopsy showed some discrepancies in when we did it and what he should have seen at that time (like my body's timing was off) that also factored into LPD (I had never heard of that before so I wasn't completely sure - I'll be looking that up again). When the nurse practitioner did the post coital she didn't explain exactly where she got it from or what the test showed and he'd like to do that again (doing it HIMSELF) to make sure HE knows exactly what my CM and Corey's sperm are doing while they're up in there together.
He asked me what my questions were and I told him what I was worried about, asked him all the qusetions we had, and told him I felt that communication was lost towards the end of the cycle. I mentioned to him how hard it was to get in touch with Toni becuase the receptionists try to help (too much sometimes) and only left her a message never put her through.
At the end of the appointment he said he really wanted to work together on this. He said he was glad I brought all the questions/concerns to him and that it helps make him a better doctor and helps this process to be easier for us. He has a great personality and kinda teased me a little saying his home number's in the phone book. I laughed and explained that we had seen him at church (he's a deacon there) and thought about calling him or going to sit by him at church but I wasn't sure if calling would be crossing the line. He told me to call him whenever I needed to - that he thinks that's important in this process and not to hesitate.
This cycle (whenever it starts - tonight or tomorrow probably) we're going to do a pseudo IUI cycle doing EVERYTHING except the IUI part. Every single thing - including ultrasounds to go with the Clomid! I'll be bumped up to 150 MG Clomid and we'll do Progesterone (I can start it later if I feel more comfortable with that - though he said it was fine timing this cycle even though I was worried) we'll do the follie check to see if they're produced right and do the trigger (is that the right terminology?).
Then the day after he wants to do a post coital test - NO Mucinex, NO preseed just to see how they're reacting together and to see how the Clomid effects my CM. That way he can diagnose what's happening and move on from there. He said he really does think we'll be going down the IUI road but he wants to do this first and then move on from there.
Ok I think that about covers it. It took me a while because I called my mom when I got home and told her about the appointment. I'm so glad I told her. I'm still in shock that it's going well but I really think this is great.
Monday, June 8, 2009
I was discussing with a friend the fine line between cynicism and realism. If I'm realistic about my situation I get treated like a cynic. If I'm hopeful I feel like I'm being stupid and naive. Where's the happy medium? Is there one? Cause if there is I need to find it quick.
We sit down with the doctor tomorrow. If we don't get the answers we want I'm going to
Friday, June 5, 2009
If I weren't so lazy I would have gotten out my camera and taken pics of the juicy deliciousness I just indulged in, but I didn't. I have a plan to go to the farmer's market again tomorrow and pick up some more so I'll post a real picture then. :)
Next on the list? Watermelon. I've got one waiting for me on the kitchen counter (another farmer's market indulgence)
I love summer. :)
Thursday, June 4, 2009
We've got the doctor appointment on Tuesday to lay down the law. I'm ready for a proactive doctor who's not going to leave me in the dark. Hopefully he can fulfill that for us so we don't have to change doctors again.
I LOLed at this entry today. That blog is seriously fun. Love it.
Ok I'm going to TRY to get some cleaning done and dinner started. : /
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
I really really hope it's a good thing for my mom and I to have in common. There isn't much so maybe this'll be the bridge we needed to connect better. Maybe this is why God's putting us through this storm. If so, every moment is worth it. He's perfect and has perfect timing - I just need to remember that.
Monday, June 1, 2009
We had a cookout the day before my birthday w/my parents, the ILs and Mr. G's grandparents. That's when we had the amazing cake I keep raving about. It was a fun night I was a little disappointed that we couldn't sit outside because it was raining but it was still fun. My MIL got me a couple necklace sets that I didn't really ask for/only kinda like but that's the usual (they're from Avon if that's any indication of their greatness level). I got money from my mom, Mr G's grandparents and a check in the mail from my godmother. I'm still debating on if I'll spend it on the netbook or IF treatment. : /
We celebrated w/this little sweetie too. Her b-day is the day after mine so we gave her the outfits we bought her that night. THIS was Baby K when we babysat her last August. She's a big girl now!! I can't believe she's two years old!! She's SOOO smart and absolutely adores Diva. I love this little one. :)
but I swear to you I do NOT have lumps for bottom eyelids.
(GROSS!! Why do I look like that?!?)
Thanks to a wonderfully delicious and intoxicating beverage at dinner on my birthday my inhibitions were dropped a little so I started asking my mom about IF. I'm adopted so I always wondered if this was an issue my parents dealt with but never had the nerve to ask.
::rewind:: When I was home for the wedding in April I kinda slipped the fact that I had an HSG done into the conversation to see what would be said. She said she had one done and that they had drugged her up to have it (uh... JEALOUS!!) and that my godmother drove her home from the hospital.
So I asked why she had one (dumb question right? It was the booze talking I swear lol) she said it was because she couldn't get pregnant. Later I asked how long they tried and her and dad laughed it off as a silly question (but that one really wasn't...) and said they were married in '77 and got me in '83 so that should be my answer. I didn't know they tried right away and didn't wait! How did I know?! So apparently they tried for 6 years? I don't know how long they were on a waiting list to get me so that's still a foggy answer.
I told them a few things we had done and that we tried Clomid and Progesterone this this cycle and kinda left it at that. Then she said "The worst part is when they tell you nothing's wrong!" followed by a change of subject. See, my mom has a funny way of ending conversations in extremely awkward ways so I just left it at that. My drink was wearing it off so I noticed the awkwardness so I just watched Walk the Line that was on the tv instead (great movie btw).
The next morning they were getting ready to go and she said she wanted to make sure we had Mr. G tested too. I told her we had and told her we had a new doctor that we were going in to talk to again. I said we were worried about what our insurance would cover too - I'll save that for another entry though. :)
This was the pic from the listing on our house when we bought it in 2007. Who in the world puts "bushes" that HUGE in front of a small house like this?!?! Seriously?! There's another one behind the vehicle on the right on the far side of the garage. This spring Mr. G and I hacked them down and moved them to the backyard (I'll PIP that another time). Insanity I tell you. Those jokers were GINORMOUS and took everything we had to get them out!
Our new landscaping looks like this. It's small and simple (and was fairly cheap) but I think it's MUCH more attractive than the monstrosity it was before. We're working on curb appeal here cause we're hoping to put it on the market SOON.
Looks like it's time to mow!!
So...What do you think?!