Saturday, May 16, 2009

The thoughts that won't go away.

I'm a big thinker. I always have these trains of thought that stretch for miles. I just hop from one thing to another and it goes from there. You'd think with so many thoughts going through my head at such a rapid pace I'd focus less on the pregnancy/baby/IF stuff. I wish that were the case!

So last night and today these were the thoughts that derailed my train every time they'd pop in my head.

I wonder what I'll look like pregnant (I'll be huge I know)
I wonder what it FEELS like to be pregnant
I wonder what it's like to hold a little tiny baby and know that they belong to you.

The last one was getting me this morning. I caught a glimpse of that feeling in my heart - even though I'm nowhere near that point yet. My heart just filled to it's limits with joy imagining that day. Man, I can't wait for that.

So many people take IF for granted - even some who suffered from it and are moms now. Those who get ku easily have no idea and many don't even seem to try to put on these shoes. Not that I wish it on them - just that more empathy should be available.

In Clomid news - Nothing. Day 2 on the medicine and I'm great! I don't know if that should make me worry (no side effects? Is it working?!?) or if I should take it and be thrilled. :) I'll take the latter for now.

Happy weekend!

P.S. I added the time line of our TTC Journey to the bottom of the left sidebar. Partially for you, partially for me. I will never forget what this was like. I promise.


BiBiBebe said...

I <3 this post.
I just started Clomid this cycle too. So far, I haven't had any side effects, either. Luck is on our side, I suppose.

Jessica Loves Trevor (JLT) said...

I totally agree with you, I don't know how women can "forget" what it's like to go through IF. It's very important to me that I never take this journey for granted, even when I (*hopefully*) get the end result.

I really hope Clomid does it's magic for you! I didn't have any s/e on Clomid until I was at 100 or 150 mg, and then nothing until about day three. I don't know what your dosage is, but just so you know.

Mrs.G said...

I'm taking 100mg - my doctor started me at that dosage right away. Still nothing this morning! :)