Thursday, April 30, 2009
I only have to come here to teach for 3 more days + a program day. I can do this without hurting anyone... right? RIGHT?!?!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
I need a change and it can't come fast enough.
*added* The thing I have the most trouble understanding is the pure utter hatred that is between people down here. Even the tiniest kids I deal with have been taught to hate simply based on the color of someone's skin and if they're a man or woman. It's out of control and I refuse to raise any children (if/when) we have in this environment. What a sad place to be. I hate it here.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
The trip kicked off great with a wretched plane ride. Remember how I've been sick the past 2 weeks thinking it was my allergies and never went to the doctor? Yeah that "allergy" issue was actually a double ear infection and sinus infection. My ears hurt SO BAD in the plane that I wanted to cry. Landing was worse than the take off so I had my mom take me to convenient care right away when we got in. I told them I thought I had a sinus infection and it ended up being an ear infection in both ears as well. I've been living off of antibiotics and Motrin ever since. I thought it was better but now that I'm back to work I'm exhausted and I keep having hot flashes. Lovely.
The wedding was beautiful. My friend was absolutely stunning. I was correct in thinking that I'd be the fat bridesmaid but I'll survive I guess. It didn't happen over night and it'll take while to get back to where I'd like to be. Speaking of that I totally blew my Weight Watchers lifestyle over this weekend. I'll jump back on the horse this week. It was next to impossible to work that out with the places I was eating this week. I wanted to enjoy myself and not worry about it and I did.
Back to the wedding. I was super excited to get to play Maid of Honor on the wedding day. :) The REAL MOH was busy (I guess?) doing her hair and getting ready to do the bride's hair so I tagged along and helped my friend run errands and Mr. G stayed in bed at the hotel. It rained that day - thunderstormed really - but it all worked out great because we got ready AT the church so didn't have to go out in the rain before the ceremony.
The reception was REALLY nice and a lot of fun. Poor Mr. G sat by himself at a table (not knowing anyone) so I went and found him after dinner and sat with him instead of at the head table. He was a really good sport about the whole weekend - he's such a sweet man.
We went straight back to my parents' house the next day. My mom's brother was in the hospital in a coma and she was going to leave super early Monday morning to go out there and I needed to visit my grandparents and my grandma's sister before we left. We had a nice lunch with my grandparents.
Mom's brother died Monday morning at 1:45 and I don't think they told her until she got there after a 10 hour drive by herself. She seems ok - she hadn't spoken to him in years and holds a grudge against her other brother too. I don't know the whole story.
I finally worked up the courage to ask her about my birth parents. I was adopted as a new born and knew NOTHING about my birth mother. My mom told me her name and a few other things!! I was shocked! I searched the internet (hoping to find something) when we got home last night which lead to me dreaming about it all night too. I might be too emotional for this process but I'm going to try anyway.
I'll post a wedding pic later when I'm home. Hope everyone had a great weekend!
Wow this is long! :) Sorry!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Today Kindergarten didn't come because of the Earth Day celebration outside. I figured 4th grade would stay outside too (are supposed to come right after K) but sure enough, here they come. 5 minutes late but they're coming. I had already cleaned everything up and packed my things to go.
And so it goes.
I'm so scared that it'll get bad again that I'm going to pack the nasty thing! ::gag::
I probably won't be updating for a few days (not that anyone will be TOO disappointed - LOL!) but I'll update with pictures when I get back!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
(*flipped hair now my profile pic)
One of the secretaries that I mentioned it to in the mail room came to my room just now to tell me she's here to OBSERVE A CLASS today!! She said the acedemic coach (kinda like a asst. principal) took her down the KINDERGARTEN HALL to go to the classroom she was to be in!!
I mean I'd even go as far as expecting something like this from a parent but someone who comes in and is supposed to be "professional" and here for business of any sort should know better!! She looked like she was going to the club!
Monday, April 20, 2009
So the emission light came on in my car and I need to get that checked out and the oil changed (maybe the oil is causing the light to come on?). I need to give the dogs a bath and finish laundry and cleaning. I need to go to the grocery store for dog food and people food so we don't starve between now and Wed. I need to clean out the refrigerator too! All this and I'm working tonight!! EEK!!
Anyone want to come and go to work/school for me so I can do all that extra crap? Or do all that extra crap so I can work? Anyone? Please?!?
I'm exhausted just thinking about it!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
2) Why do you feel MORE tired if you get "too much" sleep? I've been sick so we skipped church and stayed in bed this morning and I still feel sleepy. Why does that happen?
Ok. I'm getting off of here and I am going to try my best to catch up on what I skipped yesterday and what I'm behind on today! :/
Friday, April 17, 2009
They're really the only way I get things done - if I actually stick to them. It HAS to work this weekend because we'll be out of town the second half of next week and I'm determined to NOT leave (and return to) a messy house!!
Today (what's left of it...)
I still feel like crap and I have to be at work at 6:30. :( Off to get stuff done!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I'm usually kinda scared (by scared I mean terrified) of the secretary at this school. She's got one of those intimidating faces that always seems to look mad or annoyed even if she's not - do you know what I'm talking about? I know several people (women mostly) with these faces. Anyway. I was going to ask her who their regular subs were here and she named one, told me it was her sister and asked if I wanted her to call her. Uh... YEAH! So she did while I stood there and boom. She got me a sub! Thank you thank you thank you!!!! Maybe she's not so scary after all!
And on top of that the 1st grade class that was supposed to come today didn't show up! :D
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
That 2.4 put me up to 5 lbs of weight loss so far!!
It's such a small number so I'm probably lame for posting this but I was excited and I got a star sticker on my bookmark from the WW lady!! LOL!
I've got a LONG road ahead and I'm hoping to lose more each week (even though they claim anything over 2lbs/week is "unhealthy" - uh... have ya SEEN me?! THIS is what unhealthy is!)
I can't handle my allergies this morning! I take my medicine at night time (because it's the only time I can remember to take it) and wake up under allergy attack! What the crap?! My throat's killing me this morning and I'm sniffly and sneezy. Maybe it's because I was FREEZING all day at school with no way of turning on my heat because they're all switched over to A/C already. I seriously hate this school. It's torture. At least it's Wednesday! :)
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I feel less hopeless since going to the new doctor yesterday. I feel like we're taking steps in the right direction even more than before (obviously - because we ARE) and I feel like this doctor knows a lot more about fertility than the other one.
I called my insurance company and asked about the procedures he was telling us about - out of 5 only 2 of them were not covered and neither of those were the most expensive ones so I think that's a pretty good outcome!
Weigh in at Weight Watchers is tonight. I'm not looking forward to that because Easter really messed me up with the family gatherings - I'm prepared to jump back on the horse though.
I got my hair cut last night and now I'm regretting it. It's too dang thick to do ANYTHING. When it's long it's super thick and super heavy. When it's short it's thick, choppy and sloppy looking where she did the layers. I'm not too happy about it and will probably go by a salon this week to get it fixed. I flipped it up with my curling iron and pulled 1/2 of it back to disguise the mess. It was a bad move on my part. I got too brave. : /
Monday, April 13, 2009
I especially like the end of it because it's so true.
Often the worst day of the year for an involuntarily childless woman is Mother’s Day, when going to a house of worship is going to the house of mourning. Seeing all the corsages is difficult enough, but then the mothers, young and old, are asked to stand. About the only females left sitting are children and those who wish they could have them. Surely we can find better ways to acknowledge the mothers among us and their important contributions. We have four months to plan ahead, so let’s get it right this year. By including in the bulletin, pastoral prayer and/or the sermon those for whom such days are painful, we have opportunity to minister grace to the one in six couples of childbearing age in our midst for whom the dreaded “M-day” is a time not of joy but of grief.
Following my first miscarriage, a message in the church bulletin said, “The altar flowers today are given with love and acknowledgement of all the babies of this church who were conceived on earth but born in heaven and for all who have experienced this loss.” The couple who dedicated them had six children, and theirs was the only large family I could be around for any length of time. Through their validation of our pain we caught a glimpse of the One who’s acquainted with grief. And as they crossed the aisle and stood by us during the music, with tears streaming down our faces we found new strength to bring our sacrifice of praise.
Before I left the office I had blood work done to check for PCOS and he assured me that they do ultrasound monitoring when they prescribe Clomid (if it gets to that and he thinks it might based on the stuff I've told him and my charts).
Here's the game plan. Today I had bw done to check for PCOS (insulin levels and other stuff I couldn't really tell because the write up was scribbly). I think he was double checking my thyroid too with this blood work.
Day 19 I'm having a Serum Progesterone lab done - I can't remember what that's for but I'm going to read for it in my information that he gave me.
Day 26 will be an endometrial biopsy (another thing I need to read up on).
He said we're skipping the HSG (thank you Lord) and we're going to delay the Post-Coital test until next cycle to get this other stuff in order first.
The best part is that he talked about God, he talked about the bible and he prayed with us at the end of the appointment. I did so well not breaking down and crying while I explained everything to him and listened to him but when it got to the end I started to crumble. He was so encouraging and so level headed and really cared. Ever since I was younger when people cared about me and prayed for me it makes my heart well up and I cry because I didn't get that at home. I am so grateful for God putting this doctor in our path. I know He has a plan for us and having this new doctor will help me keep my head up during this hard trying journey.
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
Thursday, April 9, 2009
I'm not too torn up about this cycle starting. Come Saturday and Sunday I might be singing a different tune (haha singing - I'm a singer! Get it?!?) because of family gatherings with the baby that I love dearly whose mother doesn't care about her at all and a pregnant belly of another who is due in May. ::sigh:: It just never ends.
Speaking of that belly I went as far as texting my boss asking her to schedule me to work the 19th so I had an excuse to not attend the shower for this girl. My MIL will be pissed when she hears that "uh oh! They scheduled me to work! I can't BELIEVE this!! I guess I can't make it to the shower. Gee... that sure stinks" (baha) but I just don't want to go and can't handle going to this one in particular. Does that make me a bad person?
On a happier note I ate enough for breakfast today to make my belly feel nice and full. Not stuffed full just comfy full. I hope that keeps me going today and helps me ward of my killer cramps that are trying to push their way through! :)
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
(note to self: a regular sized tot at Sonic is only 5 points! That size of fries are only 4.5!)
Today I had the Tuscan Veggie Bake and it was AWESOME. I'm not a Vegan by any means but if I were I'd be SUPER excited about this one :)
Yesterday I had Garden Vegetable Pasta which was also delicious.
and then there's this one.
I've never had Plantains before and I was a little skeptical but I was VERY pleased. It was sweet and spicy and very filling. I loved it.
I guess the reason these are all veggie meals is because I'm never extremely impressed with the amount of chicken you get with each. I mean I'm a chicken lover and when I see just a few strips in a meal it makes me sad. One day I added my own extra chicken to a meal to give it some meat (pun intended. Ha!!) and loved it. Anyway these are awesome and I highly recommend them all.
Oh and always watch those Kashi people! They give free stuff away periodically and they're always worth it. I got cookies in the mail once and have a free frozen entre coupon sitting on my desk at home waiting for me to take it to the store.
I blame this guy. Thanks a lot Mr. West.
It hurts me.
Monday, April 6, 2009
That hit me today taking a stupid IKEA email survey. There was a question about children in your house.
"How many children do you have?"
c)5+ (for octomom I guess)
d) none. I don't want children
e) None yet but we're planning to start a family in the next year.
Nice plan eh? Wouldn't it be cool if it worked that way? Hmm... I think I'll get pregnant this cycle so that our birthdays don't overlap or some bs like that. Ha. Yeah right.
I keep hoping this emotional issue will go away with time but I'm finally starting to believe that it will only get harder. Another cycle, another pregnant friend, another friend's baby...
In the mean time we removed some HUGE bushes from the front of our house. I mean these aren't even bushes they're monstrous patches of strong reedy grass that get to be probably 6ft tall or more by the time they're done growing at the end of the summer. The root balls were gigantic and it was strenuous getting these things out of the ground and to the back yard.
So with 2 days of back breaking yard work under my belt I'm left in a state of exhaustion inside an allergy fog. I keep sneezing, my nose, throat and mouth are itching like crazy and this morning my eyes were watering like crazy.
MrG finished planting the new sensible trees we bought yesterday after I went to work job #2. We're going to buy flowers and some other cute stuff but it's supposed to freeze tonight and tomorrow night so we're waiting till next week.
That's all that's going on. I've lost 3.6 lbs since I started Weight Watchers. Not much but it's a start!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Now I'm going to find some lunch and do some work in the yard before Mr. G gets home from work. It's a GORGEOUS day outside! I wish every day were this beautiful!! :)