This week was a short one and for some reason every week that is short seems to last for-ev-ER! Friday is FINALLY here and that's a good thing! These kids are driving me bonkers.
So at my doctor's appointment I really didn't feel like I got many answers. My OB went through and explained what was happening. He gave me about 15-20 minutes worth of dumbed down diluted information that I already knew, wrote me two prescriptions (Provera and Clomid) and sent me on my way. He gave me a chance to ask my questions but didn't really give me any answers. It all felt very political and as if he were covering up for not knowing how to answer. Please don't get me wrong I really love this clinic and they have been great so far but if they can't answer things and give me reasons behind the medication then I don't think it will work.
I'm going to call around to other offices in my area and start looking into seeing an RE. The closest one is in Memphis which is over an hour away so I've been putting this off for that reason. I need to see what our insurance will do and hopefully I won't have to be referred by a physician. It just seems like another hoop to jump through (which is why insurance companies do it I know). I'm not looking to be the next octomom for crying out loud. I just want to have one. That's all I ask. I'm certainly not against adoption being an adoptee myself but I want to feel what it's like to grow a person! I want to feel that connection to someone that I've missed out on being adopted.
This whole thing is frustrating and heart breaking. Mr. G doesn't know how to handle it when I'm down all the time. He doesn't understand that it's not something I can hide from. I deal with it every single day and it won't go away. He seems to think I can just "stop being sad" which obviously doesn't work. I know he cares and I love him for that we just need to work on a more effective way of being supportive.
Speaking of Mr. G tomorrow is his birthday! We're going out to dinner tonight his cousin and a friend then we'll get some movies to watch at our house. He's getting a GPS for his car that he picked out (because he's entirely too hard to buy for) and I'm getting him a surprise that I will write about after I give it to him - since he could sneak on here and read this ;)
You Are Who God Says You Are
5 hours ago