Thursday, November 6, 2008

The waiting.

I'm in time-out. I'm grounded. We can't TTC again until the doctor gets my thyroid under control. There's no telling how long it'll take so I'm just trying to be patient and focus on figuring other things out while I wait. At first I was discouraged but after hearing from other girls who have thyroid issues I'm feeling better about it and I'm glad that we found it now not while I was pregnant. One of the things I'm working on is I'm going to get set up with short term disability insurance so when I do get pregnant I'll have some additional coverage. (I feel like I typed that before and didn't check my other entries before starting here. Oops!)

I have found a sensitive issue that I didn't realize affected me before now. When people use the term "oops" for pregnancies that weren't planned it drives me CRAZY. I feel much better about people saying "surprise" because it has a more positive connotation. I mean it might have been an accident that you got pregnant but "oops" sounds like it was a mistake - something you regret. How heart breaking for anyone to consider a new life a mistake. Maybe that's the IF talking in me, maybe it's the fact that I'm adopted and feel as if I was an "oops" myself but it really hurts my heart to have people say that.

I've been blessed by fall colors lately. Driving around seeing beautiful oranges, reds and yellows. This is my favorite time of year for sure. I normally don't get to experience the beauty of fall where I live because they don't get an early frost but this year we did! I feel like during the summer and the "green" seasons we forget to acknowledge the beauty God has on display for us. It's all around us but we fail to appreciate it (at least I know I do!). I'm so thankful to have that love and to know it's real. It might seem strange to those who don't understand but seeing gorgeous colors on the trees helps me with my waiting. It gives me hope and reminds me that I'm not alone and that there is a plan. It may not be MY timing but it is the PERFECT timing (something I can't even fathom).

1 comment:

Danse said...

I hear ya on the opps. Drives me NUTS!

I hope they can get your thyroid behaving quickly. I know you must be disappointed to have a TTC setback, but it's great that you're taking care of yourself.