Monday, October 20, 2008

Tired and broken

What a trying 2 weeks this has been. I don't have any words to say that would be worth anyone's time. They'd probably be a mess to get through and probably wouldn't make any sense (not that it's different any other time I write). I'm going to avoid an emotional explosion and keep the pity party to myself tonight. I had my blood work done today. No results for a few days. Life is wasted by waiting. I admitted to a friend today that I am struggling with infertility. Somehow it gets easier every time I say it but harder every time I think about it. I never wanted this to be part of my vocabulary. I'm shaking and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest so I'm going to stop here and post 2 things that mean the world to me right now. I just can't do it tonight.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Bring the Rain

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there'll
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain

Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing



6 comments:

sulfababy said...

"Life is wasted by waiting." ... "Somehow it gets easier every time I say it but harder every time I think about it."

You've put into words exactly how I feel too. We'll get through this, both of us. *hugs*

Cate said...

I know exactly how you feel, hon. BIG BIG HUGS. We will all get there someday.

Cate said...

And I'm just now catching up on BOTB crap today and I agree with you on the drinking thing. I never once missed it, I knew what I was growing was so much more satisfying than a drink ever could be.

I wish I could hug you tonight. I know your frustration and heartache so well.

Chin up dear, I know it's hard.

Danse said...

::hugs::

I agree that telling people does make it easier somehow - like a weight is lifted.

I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to update with the NIAW.

Mrs.Rotty said...

I think that people like you are amazingly strong!
I look up to you! i hope that doesn't creep you out!!

Mrs.G said...

Thanks girls. :)
Danse - go for it. I borrowed/shared/stole it from Nerds anyway.